the reason i haven't been writing anything lately is because it's not easy anymore. the words don't come to me as smoothly anymore and the thoughts they produce are hardly coherent. writing is my form of catharsis. and since i haven't been able to, maybe that's why i've been such an emotional wreck. the anxiety that builds and builds when you can't let it out is not something i would wish on my favorite enemy. never ever. so i keep hoping that it will just go away, but it won't. but that's my own fault. and i would share with you a solution to it if i had one but i don't. so i mean i keep trying to live life they way normal people do but it still finds me awake at 2 am unable to fall asleep from worrying. worry is worse than words can heal sometimes.
but even so. it's important to keep the shape of your thoughts unlike others. i'm not too sure why not at the moment. one day i'll know.
but right now life is too scary for me to even think straight.
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