after doing the thing you love for many hours one weekend; the thoughts released after doing said thing

Breath that keeps catching in your throat for no particular reason

The overwhelming feeling of needing to do something

But not knowing what to do

Feeling exuberantly ecstatic and depressingly crushed

At the same time

Movement that creates a song that begs to be played

Yet no one's around to hear it

Or clap for it

Or plead that it exists solely to exist

Making no sense of things and not trying to

Make sense of the important things

Only accepting what is and loving every minute you're in it

Not being ready to give it up for forever

Wanting to cry every time you see something inspirational

So out of control of your own emotions

Completely vulnerable

And closed off simultaneously

Wishing it were raining

Because the rain gives you a reason to be melancholy on the outside

While on the interior you don't know whether to sing

To cry

To scream

To dance

To pray

The spark of light that flies from your fingertips hitting the keys

The turning of the earth below your feet

Figuring out new meaning to things you hear every single freaking day of your life

Holding on to your dreams

Not knowing how to not give them up without a sidekick

Or a community

Which is necessary for growth

Not being certain of how growth is going to be attained once you're gone

Letting people read these most inner thoughts of yours

It's freeing

And terrifying

But cathartic at the same time

Allowing you to move on

Let go of what needs to be let go of

Using cliché phrases like they’ll never go out of style

Finding things to make you smile

Finding ways to push through the immeasurable wall you built for yourself

Finally knowing that even if the wall closes you off from the rest of the world,

There will always be a little hole in the straw thatched roof

To keep you seeing the sun and the stars.