Is it wrong to be
afraid to love somebody because they see the world differently than you?
Because in their head things are a set, certain way, and it's not the same as in yours. And because it's not the same as yours, what you find completely natural
they may find completely outlandish. And it will change your perception of
them. And maybe then, in 10 years of loving this person, you're afraid that it
will all be different, and you will have lost something and wasted something
and that thing is time, my friend, and there's no way to get it back. What I
fear is that in my crazy mixed up head, letting myself love someone completely
normal could be a crime against humanity. Well, really a crime against myself.
If someone doesn't get it, doesn't get the world in the way which you do, then
sometimes you won't ever agree. And circles upon circles of debates and
arguments and hair pulling out ensues, and it comes in waves of euphoria and
misery yet it's all you know now because this is how you've lived for the past
ten years. And when the time comes when you finally realize that it's horribly
gone awry and things have to end, the time just dissipates. What started out as
a short term thing took up ten years of your life. And even though I'm not
speaking from experience, I know sympathy. I know what it's like to give years
of your life to something, and to look back and see that it was all for naught.
So trust me, when I say I know how it feels to be afraid to love some thing or
body or space. You never know if the mind of that thing or body or space is
different than yours and how it will react to your mannerisms and mantras and
fetishes of putting on a sock and then a shoe, and then the other sock, and the
other shoe, and then walking out the door with a rain hat just in case because
you never know. Because you do never know. Know what's on the other side of the
door before you walk in. Then maybe, just maybe, those ten years will be the best ten years of your life.
*disclaimer: I do
not, by any means, claim that loving someone completely opposite than you is
not a tangible thing. It is. Trust me. I'm clearly writing this for dramatic
effect, for the people who it hasn't worked out for. It may seem like I'm
telling them the world is over, but that's far from the truth. The moral of my
story is to be sure of what you're doing so that you aren't unexpectedly hurt
in the end. Gosh, that still sounds morbid. I guess the cynic in my brain won't
shut up. I guess that's what you get for one in the morning on a school night.
Rest easy now, and know that the world isn't as bad of a place as I make it
seem.
